main blog — Purposely Ever After

How do you streamline household work? A case study on weeknight dinners.

A few weeks ago, Jason and I decided to move out to Park City, UT (I know!). Because of the pandemic, we’d been staying with my parents in Atlanta, and, eventually, we decided to break our lease in NYC.

Relationship Advice, The Mental LoadAnusha DeshpandeOctober 18, 2020Weeknight Dinner, streamlining work, case studyComment

How do you merge finances with a significant other?

In my previous post, I discussed the different financial advice men and women get and finding someone financially compatible was a high priority of mine when dating.

New Blog, Relationship Advice, 50-50 marriageAnusha DeshpandeOctober 18, 2020MERGING FINANCES, FINANCEComment

Why do men and women get such different financial advice?

Something Jason and I often discuss is where unconscious biases about women come from. There are many, many sources, but something that stands out to me as baffling is the advice men and women get about money.

first columns, New BlogAnusha DeshpandeOctober 7, 2020men vs. women, FINANCEComment

How do you decide where you and your partner should live?

Right after Jason and I got engaged, I moved to the Bay Area for a job while Jason stayed in NYC. We were long distance for over 1.5 years, and, during that time, we had a bunch of different discussions about where we wanted to permanently live - NYC, the Bay Area, or possibly, LA.

first columns, New Blog, 50-50 marriageAnusha DeshpandeOctober 7, 2020decision-makingComment

How do you accept different relationship expectations?

In my previous post, one of the things I discussed was acceptance and dating. I found that approaching dating with reasonable expectations has helped set the tone for acceptance throughout our relationship.

second columns, New BlogAnusha DeshpandeOctober 7, 2020expectations, relationship adviceComment

How do you date intentionally?

A few of my friends have asked for more details about intentional dating and how exactly it worked when I met Jason.

What I've learned so far by writing this blog

This post will be a bit different. One of the best parts of writing this blog has been the conversations I’ve had with friends and family about how they’ve faced or dealt with these issues. I wanted to share a few takeaways from some of the conversations I’ve had and articles that have been generously sent my way:

Old Blog, Dating Advice, The Mental LoadAnusha DeshpandeOctober 7, 2020relationship advice, dating adviceComment

How do you know when the division of labor needs to be adjusted?

I got a lot of questions on my last post, specifically: how do you know when things aren’t fair and need to be adjusted?

Are 50-50 marriages exactly 50-50?

One of my friends and I were recently discussing what success in a 50-50 partnership looks like. Does it mean that each person does exactly 50% of household work at all times?

50-50 marriage, Relationship Advice, The Mental LoadAnusha DeshpandeMay 24, 202050-50 marriage, mental loadComment

How do you have enough energy for quality time with your partner at the end of the workday?

One of the best parts about being married is coming home to someone who can provide a soft landing at the end of a long day. One of the worst feelings, however, is coming home so drained that you have nothing left for your partner.

Relationship AdviceAnusha DeshpandeMay 15, 2020relationship adviceComment

How do you make sure to incorporate your partner’s perspective, even if it’s your “domain”?

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about how dividing up tasks using “domains” works in practice. Specifically, what happens when something is in one partner’s domain, but the other person has a strong point-of-view?